1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:05,014
Oh. A third breast pump.

2
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,499
Put this in the "to be exchanged
for something better" pile.

3
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,965
So far, that's the only pile.

4
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,451
And what on earth is this?

5
00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:16,452
It's a diaper genie. You
put used diapers in there.

6
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,965
Ugh!

7
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,630
I guess the nanny
will appreciate it then.

8
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:24,374
Don't forget this one.

9
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,423
Hmm?

10
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,292
Oh, it's one of those kits

11
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,104
were you make a
plaster mold of your belly.

12
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,031
Oh. "Do it yourself."

13
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,557
3 words I always try to avoid.

14
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,560
Plus, it's hideous.

15
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,654
Hey! I was gonna give
her that. It's from me.

16
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,354
And it's my favorite. Oh!

17
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:52,616
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪

18
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:56,881
♪ you're finding
you I'm finding me ♪

19
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,357
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪

20
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,238
♪ who brings out the joy ♪

21
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,540
♪ brings out the joy ♪

22
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,805
♪ inside of me ♪

23
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,889
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪

24
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,329
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪

25
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:14,806
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪

26
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,547
♪ you and me ♪

27
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:20,078
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

28
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,994
Heh, heh, heh!

29
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,605
Hello, love.

30
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,136
Camille, I told you not
call me that around here.

31
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,230
Hey. I didn't know
you were stopping by.

32
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,579
Mm! Well, I wanted
to bring a little surprise.

33
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:39,269
A banana almond coconut scone

34
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:40,667
from the sugar time bakery,

35
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,319
which you're already eating.

36
00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:43,673
Oh, sorry.

37
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,542
I know they're
Spencer's favorite,

38
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,314
and the bakery only
has them on Thursdays.

39
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,611
He gets really cranky
if he doesn't get any.

40
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,200
He ain't the only one.

41
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,976
Guess in the
future, I'll have to be

42
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:56,377
a little bit faster to stay
one step ahead of Mona.

43
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,341
Mwah! Ciao.

44
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,951
I just love it when she uses
those British expressions.

45
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,913
Oh, before I forget,

46
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,151
can you help me pick out a
present for Camille tonight?

47
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,480
It's for our 3-month
anniversary.

48
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,260
Well, jewelry is too serious.

49
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,464
Flowers aren't special enough...

50
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,919
Which I was thinking

51
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,829
some trashy lingerie.

52
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,230
What? Gift's gotta
benefit a brother, too.

53
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:23,141
Anyway, I told Camille I was
gonna work late, so will you help me?

54
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,837
Sure. What's better than picking
out lingerie for another woman

55
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,965
when I've got no
use for it myself?

56
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,185
So did you hear the news?

57
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,848
They hired a new
guy in the mail room.

58
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:34,591
Didn't know that was newsworthy.

59
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,373
Well, it is when the
guy's my new Nemesis.

60
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,377
New Nemesis? How
long's he been here?

61
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,029
3 hours.

62
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,444
He spent the morning schmoozing
his way around the building

63
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,687
and even accused
me of staring at his ass.

64
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,381
Can you imagine that?

65
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:48,948
Me stare at someone's ass?

66
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,477
Hard to believe, really.

67
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:56,391
Well, you'll know he's
lying when you see his.

68
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,217
Hey, hey! Get your hot male!

69
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,356
And I'm not talking
about these here letters.

70
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,225
Jake, this just arrived.

71
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,471
You can lose that
worried expression.

72
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,710
The baby's not yours.

73
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:12,064
Fred, here's your
mail-order prescription.

74
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,235
But I know a guy who
can get that Viagra

75
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,631
a lot cheaper for you in Mexico.

76
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,158
Oh, my god! Do you
know who that is?

77
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,110
Yeah. The mail
guy with the fat ass.

78
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,730
No, that's chauncey,
Spencer's cousin.

79
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,211
I swear that guy's a
disaster waiting to happen,

80
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,512
and in my world, I do
not need him as an escort.

81
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,738
You've met him
before? Tragically, yes.

82
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,299
He was visiting Spencer
freshman year of college,

83
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,737
and he decided he'd be the
dorm fry cook for the week.

84
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,154
Chauncey: Dawg, I'm telling you.

85
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,326
We can sell these fish dinners

86
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,011
for $10 a plate.

87
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,364
[Knock on door]

88
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,179
Could be five-o.

89
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,727
We're not supposed
to be cooking in here.

90
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,320
Dump it, dump it!

91
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,186
Whew! It's only you.

92
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,448
Hey, Spence. What's going on?

93
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,978
Mona. I want you to
meet my cousin chauncey.

94
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,502
But you can call me Zeus.

95
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,980
Nice to meet you, Zeus.

96
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,937
Feel that heat?

97
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,725
Yeah, and I see the flames, too.

98
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,341
Your jacket's on fire!

99
00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:12,902
Oh, no! What the...

100
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:15,558
Hey! This is my jacket!

101
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,003
Fire boy nearly
burnt down the dorm.

102
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:23,354
Mona! Oh! How's my baby girl?

103
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,222
Unh! [Coughs]

104
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,086
Well, I'm sure you
two want to be alone,

105
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,488
and even if you don't,
that's the way it's gonna be.

106
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:32,835
Chauncey!

107
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,401
What brings you here?

108
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,188
Well, a little bit of bad luck.

109
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,843
Why am I not surprised?

110
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,706
See, back in Chicago,

111
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,498
I was working at this
convenience store,

112
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:45,072
but it destroyed in a freak
icee machine accident.

113
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:46,941
So at the suggestion

114
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:49,382
and encouragement of
stop-n-sip management,

115
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,200
I sought employment elsewhere.

116
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,028
And when I couldn't find any,

117
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,205
Spencer hooked
me up with this job.

118
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,433
Now, that's love.

119
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,653
Yeah, that's one word for it.

120
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,833
And I have other good news, too.

121
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,129
I broke up with
my gal Stephanie,

122
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,256
which means I'm
a free man, Mona.

123
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,918
So whenever you
ready for all this,

124
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,663
I'm good to go.

125
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,270
Chauncey! Ha!

126
00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,785
What's up? What's up?

127
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,278
How are you liking
your first day...

128
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,889
Is that my shirt?

129
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,149
And my shoes?!

130
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,063
Yeah, these are nice platforms.

131
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:28,497
Are you sure they a
12? They feel like a 10.

132
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,716
Man, why are you
wearing my gear?

133
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,715
You told me to
make myself at home.

134
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,937
Speaking of which,
you're out of velveeta,

135
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:38,117
toilet paper, and Coca puffs.

136
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,779
You ate all the cocoa puffs?

137
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,189
What else was I supposed to eat

138
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,042
after we ran out of velveeta?

139
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,693
Look, I'm going downstairs.

140
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,088
The law officers of del Shaw
put out hot krispy kremes

141
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,921
every day at 11:00.

142
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,880
There! All done.

143
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,976
You know, doing this
together really makes me feel

144
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,454
like I'm part of the pregnancy.

145
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,145
Hasn't it been fun?

146
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:09,062
Oh, yes. It's like a spa
therapy for the poor.

147
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,328
Oh, no, no, no! Lie still.

148
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,241
You can't move or touch
your belly yet. It'll ruin the mold.

149
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,767
And we certainly
don't want that.

150
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,251
Now that our family is growing,

151
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,701
it's important to
keep a history.

152
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,470
Just think how cool it'll be

153
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,682
to have your burgeoning
stomach immortalized forever.

154
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,946
Now, stay put. I'm
gonna go get a towel.

155
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,700
Mom! What are you doing?

156
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,353
Oh, gee! I'm sorry.

157
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,437
It's just that I
had an itch and i...

158
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,916
Ooh! I just had to get to it.

159
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,527
Oh, honey, and now I
totally ruined our project.

160
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,488
And we worked so...

161
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:49,797
Wait a second. What
you did was actually better.

162
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,804
It is?

163
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,684
Yeah! By touching the mold,

164
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,629
it shows the relative scale

165
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:59,067
of hands to
stomach for posterity.

166
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,994
Hey! If we have
any plaster left,

167
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,599
we can do your ankles.

168
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:05,952
Perfect.

169
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:11,077
What do you think?

170
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:14,216
Just so you know, we're
having a 2 for 1 sale on bustiers.

171
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:17,700
Uh, I don't know what
that is, so I'll pass.

172
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,179
But I am looking
for something classy.

173
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,009
Maybe crotchless.

174
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,713
It's for the woman I love.

175
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,879
I've got some really
special things in the back

176
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,185
you might be interested in.

177
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,280
Things that snap.

178
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,803
What are you, about a 4?

179
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,414
Oh, no, no! It's not for
me. We're not together.

180
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,235
Right.

181
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:39,982
Can you believe that woman?

182
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,025
Yeah. She was little pushy.

183
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,121
No! I mean she
thought I was a size 4.

184
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,680
Yay for me!

185
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:49,767
Spencer?

186
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,687
Camille! What are
you doing here?

187
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,523
Well, I was gonna
take you for dinner,

188
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,411
but I dropped by work
and you weren't there,

189
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,002
and chauncey said
I'd find you here,

190
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,353
and here you
are, the two of you,

191
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,663
buying Randy panties.

192
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:07,532
Interesting. Especially since
you told me you were working late.

193
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,144
Uh, yeah.

194
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:11,274
We were shopping for my moms.

195
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:14,097
This would be
perfect for you two.

196
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,016
It's provocative, sophisticated,

197
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,631
and thanks to the
magic of velcro,

198
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,202
voila!

199
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,106
Some people just buy
their mom chocolates.

200
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,424
Camille, wait, wait, wait!

201
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,945
Spencer just wanted to
surprise you with a gift.

202
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,379
And he must really like you

203
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,136
because the only presents he ever
gives anyone come from my apartment

204
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,296
or the sample
section at rite aid.

205
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,650
So he was getting
something for me? Yeah.

206
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:42,434
Oh, I'm sorry I
reacted so strongly,

207
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,869
but lying is my pet peeve.

208
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,826
My ex was working late the
night I caught him cheating.

209
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,405
Well, you don't have to worry
about Spencer lying or cheating.

210
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,052
He can't even believe
he's dating you.

211
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,185
Big Dee Dee: Hello, hello!

212
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,321
Oh! Oh, sweet lord!

213
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,888
I look like aretha
Franklin on a stick.

214
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,674
Isn't it beautiful?

215
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:07,758
I painted on a high gloss
that really makes it shine.

216
00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,848
It's not quite dry
yet, so be careful.

217
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,157
You know what, dear?
Here, let me take it.

218
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,554
I bet it will dry
faster outside.

219
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:22,648
Oh, my!

220
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,386
What happened?

221
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,914
I tripped!

222
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,307
And the big belly
fell over the edge.

223
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,619
Oh! Damn my pregnant clumsiness.

224
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,659
Oh, it's not your fault.

225
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,095
I made it too slippery.

226
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:38,141
It said 2 coats and I put on 4.

227
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,276
Damn my love
of all things shiny!

228
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,928
Hey, I know What'll
make you feel better.

229
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,715
Morgan Freeman in silk pajamas

230
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,109
feeding me a side
of chili cheese fries.

231
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,497
No! I meant we can just
go out and buy a new kit.

232
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,419
Oh, honey, we couldn't
possibly replace it.

233
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,155
I mean, we'll just have to
live with it in our memories.

234
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,026
[Knock on door]Come in.

235
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,601
You know...

236
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,688
The darndest thing
nearly fell on my head

237
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,386
when I was coming
in the building.

238
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,963
The belly mold!

239
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:11,131
It could be anyone's.

240
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,046
I don't think so.

241
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,621
I'd recognize that bloated
stomach anywhere.

242
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:18,787
No, no, look here, baby girl.

243
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,746
You can charge
that to this phone.

244
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,274
My card is what
you call defunct.

245
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,358
Ha, ha... no! No, no, no, wait!

246
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,017
Before you hang up,

247
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,631
what you got on? Hello?

248
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,015
Chauncey... i got this.

249
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,066
On your feet, rookie.

250
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:36,052
Don't think because I'm
small I won't take you on.

251
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,770
[Hisses]

252
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,726
Sorry, dawg. This is
your desk? Mm-hmm.

253
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,692
Oh, that's right. You're the one

254
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,210
who gets all those
men's muscle magazines,

255
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,824
which you're obviously
not getting for the articles.

256
00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,167
Duh!

257
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,091
Yo, Mona...

258
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:58,554
I wanted to thank you for
helping us straighten things out.

259
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,680
And I want to thank you for
helping my man out with the lingerie.

260
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,973
We're gonna have a
fantastic time making up.

261
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,970
[Laughs]

262
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,232
Damn, Spence, you
got your current ex

263
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,835
showing your
ex-ex her delicates?

264
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,447
You bring no shame
to the family name.

265
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,535
I'm showing your what my what?

266
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:16,998
What are you talking about, man?

267
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,984
Spencer and I never had sex.

268
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:21,986
Yes, y'all did. I was there.

269
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,862
And to think I almost
called in sick today.

270
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,480
Y'all know y'all
guys slept together.

271
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:34,649
I saw it.

272
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,834
You did? You did?

273
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,390
For sure.

274
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,997
Your first year in college.

275
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,438
So, first there was
nothing between you two,

276
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,705
then there was, then
there wasn't, now there is.

277
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:48,269
I feel like I'm dating with
your bush administration.

278
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,146
Look, there really isn't
anything to the story.

279
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,930
There is if it's about you
churning Mona's butter.

280
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:58,495
And, yeah, buddy, it sure
got churned that night.

281
00:11:58,674 --> 00:11:59,814
Heh, heh, heh.

282
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,630
I was visiting
Spencer at school.

283
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,028
We were hanging out...

284
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,120
Damn, that party was bangin'!

285
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,209
You didn't know I could
jam like that, did you?

286
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:11,079
Hey, if I'd have known they
got down like this in college,

287
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,512
I might have gotten my g.E.D.

288
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,258
[Laughter]

289
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,350
You wouldn't believe
the pick-up lines

290
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,699
guys tried to use on me tonight.

291
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,649
Like what?

292
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,178
Show me some to, you know,

293
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,011
make sure I'm not using any.

294
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,136
Ok, one guy went like this:

295
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,232
"You know, they call me coffee

296
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,361
'cause I grind so fine!"

297
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,188
And another guy tried,

298
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:38,845
"is that a space
skirt you're wearing?

299
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,238
'Cause your ass
is out of this world!"

300
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:45,457
I mean, who
would fall for those?

301
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,034
Mona, I don't know if it's
the perfume you're wearing

302
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,862
or the case of beer we split,

303
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,470
but you are lookin'
really hot right now.

304
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:58,303
That's the best line
I've heard all night.

305
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,533
Look, I'll take off my socks,

306
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,090
but the shirt stays on.

307
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:14,317
That's all right, 'cause
he's got man breasts.

308
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,665
I'll take my shirt off.

309
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:20,059
I ain't ashamed. Heh,
heh, heh, heh, heh.

310
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,796
Man, you oughta be. Now get out!

311
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,809
Bye.

312
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,338
I think we all know
what happened

313
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,989
after my departure.

314
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,637
We do...

315
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,519
Although, more graphic
details never hurt.

316
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,735
So you lied to me.

317
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,131
Well, I hope you enjoyed
seeing the lingerie you bought

318
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:48,834
because you may
never see it again.

319
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,832
Does that apply to
everybody in the room?

320
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,443
Camille, don't do me like this.

321
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,967
See, what happened was...

322
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,854
This isn't really
helping, is it?

323
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,759
No, but it is making
my day have meaning.

324
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,405
Like I said,

325
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:13,028
y'all got your
freaky-eeky-deeky on.

326
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,857
So, you did lie to me, and
you did have sex with Mona.

327
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,731
No... that doesn't soundright.

328
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,823
Because it's not.

329
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,693
I remember everything.

330
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,035
I always sober up when I'm naked

331
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,815
'cause I have to think about what
I have to suck in so I look good.

332
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:31,957
Spencer: Is that it?

333
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,831
Mona: No. Lower.

334
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,569
You've never done
this before, have you?

335
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,096
No.

336
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,973
Have you? Not like this.

337
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,019
We're such good friends.

338
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,019
Should we really be doing this?

339
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,241
Well... I'm not sure,

340
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:54,281
but I do feel closer to
you than anybody else.

341
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,418
And I just learned
in English lit

342
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,201
that Shakespeare said,

343
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,985
"they do not love that
do not show their love."

344
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,901
So, maybe he's right.
Maybe this is right.

345
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,637
So let's go for it.

346
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,817
Take me, big daddy!

347
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,870
[Snoring]

348
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:17,310
That's all you did? I got more
action on the train coming to work.

349
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,614
See? I didn't lie to you.

350
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:21,918
There's never been anything
between me and Mona.

351
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,575
It could have been
anyone in that bed.

352
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,705
That night meant nothing.

353
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,930
Yeah, super-nothing.

354
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,060
Come to think of it, when I
had my ear up against the door,

355
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,763
all I heard was
talkin', then snorin'.

356
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,932
I just thought y'all were fast.

357
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,591
So all you did was get drunk,

358
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,985
take your socks
off, and pass out?

359
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,199
Then who cares?

360
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,638
So you're not mad?

361
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,344
Oh, no. How could I be?

362
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,641
I was drunk and sockless
every weekend in college.

363
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:51,248
Y-You were?

364
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,078
'Cause that was
pretty much it for me.

365
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,304
Then let's get you caught up.

366
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,129
See ya, Mona.
Clockin' out early.

367
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,529
Ok, mom, I know what you're
thinking about the belly mold.

368
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:11,838
You can tell me. Be honest.

369
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,844
Oh, thank god. I hate it.

370
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,016
I hate it more
than fake leather.

371
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,873
I even hate it more than the sound
of Phyllis clomping up the stairs.

372
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,590
It's just that it's a constant
reminder of my girth

373
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,464
and a blow to my pride,

374
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:25,785
and if I have to look
at it one more second,

375
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,420
my wig will blow off.

376
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,732
I just wanted you to have a
keepsake from the pregnancy.

377
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,414
Wouldn't you have liked to have something
from when you were pregnant with me?

378
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,469
I've got you.

379
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:38,948
Why would I need anything else

380
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,648
when I could never
have anything better?

381
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,866
Oh, well, if you put it
that way, I understand.

382
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,487
So, if you don't mind, I'm
gonna have this destroyed.

383
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,100
You're not gonna
run over it, are you?

384
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:55,412
Remember the trouble you got into when
you tried that with the neighbor's cat?

385
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,889
No. This plan is foolproof.

386
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,670
I'm gonna give it to
my new maid, Nadia,

387
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,724
and tell her to be
extra-careful with it.

388
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,850
It'll be cracked, shipped, and
hidden away by the end of the day.

389
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,437
I will never be able
to forgive chauncey

390
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,814
for bringing up that night.

391
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,617
Will you never be able
to forgive chauncey,

392
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,691
or will you never be
able to forgive Spencer?

393
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,470
What is that supposed to mean?

394
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,645
It means that what happened
tonight struck a nerve.

395
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,131
The Spencer nerve.

396
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:22,911
The one that's
connected to your heart.

397
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,515
Could you just stop
pushing the Spencer thing?

398
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,566
I can, but I won't.

399
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,826
I never back down
when I'm right.

400
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,656
If you don't know this by now,
you haven't been paying attention.

401
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:37,265
So... what is it that
you're really feeling?

402
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,967
Hurt. Embarrassed.

403
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,096
I guess when Spencer said

404
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,718
the moment we shared
meant nothing to him...

405
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,149
I realized it had meant
something to me.

406
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,887
It better have, since
you were naked.

407
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:54,375
And then I started
wondering why I even cared.

408
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,811
And it occurred to
me I've always cared...

409
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,508
I just couldn't admit it.

410
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,909
That's what us
therapists call denial.

411
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,561
Crack it open, baby.

412
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,039
I mean, maybe I should
have explored those feelings.

413
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:09,256
Where have I heard that before?

414
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,306
Maybe I've hated
all his girlfriends

415
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,751
because deep down I
thought he should be with me.

416
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,359
It's like I'm
listening to myself.

417
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,494
And maybe those sex
dreams I had about him

418
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,284
were really trying
to tell me something.

419
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,099
Damn, I forgot all about those!

420
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:30,202
Maybe there could have
been something between us.

421
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:35,160
But I was never honest
with myself or Spencer,

422
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,121
and now...

423
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,599
It doesn't matter,

424
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,080
'cause he's in love
with somebody else.

425
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,951
Oh, baby.

426
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:48,078
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.

427
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,910
I've kicked myself
in the ass yet again.

428
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:54,917
Worn down the heels on
a lot of shoes doin' that.

429
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:58,305
I know the feeling.

430
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:01,395
And no matter what happens
between you and Spencer,

431
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:04,965
I'll be here... Every
step of the way...

432
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,023
Waitin' for my grandbabies.

433
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,939
This gettin' things
out in the open

434
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,993
has brought me and
Camille even closer together.

435
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,159
I mean, isn't it great being
totally truthful with another person?

436
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,636
Yeah, it's great.

437
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,335
I'm glad everything
worked out for you.

438
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:28,432
It really has.

439
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:32,002
Man, we sure were
stupid back in college, huh?

440
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,781
Some of us still are.

441
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,526
[Movie playing on TV]

442
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,402
I don't care how
many times I see it,

443
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:46,843
throw mama from the
train never gets old.

444
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,800
Pass the chips.

445
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:57,412
You know, this makes
the coolest bowl.

446
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:58,827
It's got a place for the chips,

447
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,240
the salsa, and the guac.

448
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,196
And it's unbreakable.

449
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,597
Even my mom's new
ex-maid couldn't destroy it.

450
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:10,989
You know, I think your
mom's guacamole holder

451
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,206
is slightly smaller
than her salsa holder.

452
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,996
Runs in the family.

453
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:21,054
Not my half.

454
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,785
Oh, boy!

455
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:49,641
Whoo-hoo! [Giggles]

456
00:20:49,691 --> 00:20:54,241
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